Who Do You Want To Be?

For some reason recently I’ve been all about self-reflection and just reflecting in general.

Maybe it’s because spring is coming, and that’s all about fresh starts and new beginnings, or maybe it’s because I’m getting (scarily) near the end of my university degree so things are changing so fast for me and I have a lot of things to consider. Either way I think it’s a good thing. I’m thinking a lot about the person I’m becoming and the lessons it took to get me here.

I used to believe that you had to ‘find yourself’. That in order to discover who you really are you needed to go on some sort of quest to find the true being inside of you. Now I know that it’s more of a question of ‘creating’ yourself. Sure there are elements of your personality that are inherently you and that you may not be able to change. But overall, you get to decide who you want to be.

This can be a hard thing to understand at first as many of us are not in the position to just suddenly become this amazing person we all want to be. Some of us may not even believe that we have the capabilities to do such a giant task in the first place.

Annoyingly, learning things about yourself is something that takes time and gets easier as you grow. It’s through every experience, every mistake and every choice you make that things begin to shift in the person you are and, understandably, these things take time.

But that doesn’t mean that you can’t start making a difference now, wherever you are. Every day the decisions you make, the way you interact with others and the people you have around you help shape the person you are.

‘Creating’ yourself seems like such a big task on the surface, but really it’s these little things we do every day that contribute to it.

INSPIRATION OR COMPARISON? 

It’s really easy to get caught up in other people and think “why can’t I be like that?” But here’s the thing- you can be like that. You can get inspired and work on those features that you admire so much. If you want to be more productive, then work on it. If you want to be kind, then work on it.

The key is to not get so focused on other people so that you forget about yourself. You should always be your number one. It sounds selfish and like something we’ve been told to never do, but it’s so important that you shift that focus onto yourself. Especially if you’re trying to work on who you are in the first place.

I personally want to become more positive. For most of my life I have been a ‘glass half empty’ kind of girl- which, for the record, is totally okay- but after a while it started to weigh down on me. I found that as I got older, being bored and unsatisfied with everything just wasn’t the done thing anymore despite how trendy it was at school. I found myself feeling down and unable to pick myself back up again because of how negative every reaction I had was.

Being positive is something I am still striving for now but I can say that it’s gotten easier. The hardest part is realising the problems you have inside you and recognising that you need to change. That being said, starting the change is pretty difficult too! It takes a lot of patience (something I often lack) and self-reflection. You need to take time out to focus on the way you react to things, to the way you behave and call yourself out whenever you catch yourself doing it in a negative way.

You need to make a commitment to yourself that you’ll take this time to constantly work on building your character. This isn’t a one-time deal that’ll be over with soon. It’s something we need to work on persistently and something that will continue as long as we live.

Because who we are is built on the things we do, expect for change to happen within yourself. You were never meant to be just one thing; a being that can be pigeon-holed easily. We are complicated yet wonderful people who, once we are open to the idea of change and working hard, can only get better as time goes on.

My journey towards being a more positive person is still going strong. I struggle sometimes, as we all do, but the fact that I am trying is enough. I want to be someone who is kind and approachable. Basically I want to be the kind of person I’d be friends with.

I have accepted who I was and who I am now and I’m looking forward to all the changes, all the growth and all the learning that is coming my way.

Ask yourself, what do you want to be known for? What kind of person will you be? And just how hard are you going to work to get there?


Materials (Learning From Other People):


 

*affiliate links used

Speak soon,

Rachael.

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Five Tips For Becoming More Body Positive

Body image is a topic that takes up a lot of my time. Not only, like every other person on the planet, is it something I have struggled with since my preteen days but it is also a something that interests me greatly as a subject. I understand how difficult it can be when you’re struggling with your body image. Whether it’s your weight, your skin, your this, your that- everyone is struggling with something and it’s not cool.

hanging-quote

You have a right to feel absolutely fantastic about yourself and I think you should feel amazing for being and looking like you. So, today I’m offering some simple but effective tips to help you on your self-love journey.

  • Look At Yourself

Don’t avoid your reflection and instead take a proper look at yourself. You don’t need to say or think anything regarding your body- the main thing is to just look and familiarise yourself with the wonderful, unique situation you have going on. Getting a grasp on what you actually look like, rather than the hideous caricature you think of in your head, is so healthy and will get easier with time.

  • Get (Semi) Naked

Similarly , spending private time naked (or semi-naked) can help you become accustomed to your body. Of course, getting naked isn’t something we can always do. I have recently been spending time at home roaming around in crop tops and shorts, which is fairly revealing. Just by doing this every so often, I have found myself enjoying seeing my own body and becoming increasingly more comfortable with it as the days go on.

  • Wear What You Want

This is such a simple statement but can be a difficult task. I want you to know that regardless of your size or shape, you can literally wear whatever style of clothes you want. If you really like the look of a trend or style, just try it. We all know that this whole ‘dress for you shape’ business is bollocks anyway so go on, I dare you just try it. If you don’t like it, you don’t have to wear it again. Be brave, I dare you.

  • Use Social

Social media can be a dangerous place if you’re body-conscious, with perfected images being thrust at us from every angle. But the wonderful thing about it is everyone (well, everyone with a smartphone) can be seen. Although diversity still isn’t there in mainstream media, online so many different people are showing themselves and representing what they have. It can be a great place to recognise that everyone is unique and everyone is wonderful for that reason.

  • Be Inspired, Not Discouraged

Comparing yourself to other people is such a damaging habit and is certainly a hard one to break. But instead of comparing yourself to everyone you see, try to turn that into inspiration. You’re always going to see what other people have and what other people are going, but instead of being negative about it use that energy to be inspired and bring it back to you. You are your number one at this point, so treat yourself like it!

I hope you found this post useful or at the least an interesting read and I wish you all the best of luck on your body positive journeys!

Speak soon,

Rachael.

Being A ‘Good Girl’: A Discussion of Rebellion, Following the Rules & Accepting Yourself

All my life I have been a ‘good girl’. I never got into major trouble at school, my parents were never called in to discuss my behaviour and I never got a detention. Although I was a bit more loud and livelier at home I was still never a naughty kid. Like everyone I got into trouble sometimes and was constantly being told off for being too cheeky but for the most part I was a goody two shoes.

I’m a worrier. I stress and worry about everything and I hate it when things don’t go to plan. I’ve always been this way and I don’t think it will ever change; it’s who I am. This is why, throughout my personal and school life, I never did anything wrong. I didn’t step out of line, I didn’t drink or stay out too late. In fact I barely went out at all.   Since going to university and starting a job I have a met a ton of new people, each with their own stories and anecdotes to tell. And most of the time the tales turn to the past and when we were all younger and I find myself struggling in these conversations as I have nothing to say.

“Comparison is the thief of joy”

(Theodore Roosevelt)

Although I had a very good childhood and I’m normally a reasonably happy person, thinking about the way I was and the way I am can often make me feel down. Especially in comparison to other people’s wild stories. I’m aware that maybe at the time of their wildness they mightn’t have felt too good and maybe there were a lot of complications elsewhere due to their behaviour, but I often wish that I had been a bit bolder, a bit louder and a bit more daring like them throughout my life. Especially in school!

I might have enjoyed my time there and in other situations a lot more if I wasn’t so concerned with what other people thought of me and I didn’t worry so much.

Although I am not encouraging anyone reading this to drink underage or do anything dangerous or damaging (to yourself or others) but I am saying that it’s okay to do things out of line sometimes. When you’re young you’re allowed to make mistakes and do things wrong- in fact that’s kind of the point of being young! That’s how you learn things about yourself and the world. But if you don’t try anything new and are always so conscious of the way you act and are then you’re never going to learn and develop.

I wish I had done so many things differently but I’m trying my hardest not to regret any of my past actions. Okay, I was very quiet and nerdy at school but that enabled me to get the grades I needed to get out of there!

I will never be the type of person who is completely wild and doesn’t follow the rules. That makes me feel a bit uncomfortable. But I’m trying to accept that fact and see that no matter what I do I can still have a good time. As long as I stop caring about other people’s opinions and do things for me that sound fun but may not exactly be the ‘good’ thing to do.

I’m aware this post may seem a bit random considering everything else I’ve written so far but as always I hope my little discussion helped you in anyway. If you have any stories from when you were younger, any advice or just anything you want to say please don’t hesitate to let me know!

Speak soon,

Rachael