When You Don’t Have Anything To Say

It has been a very long time since I’ve written anything for this blog. I’m kind of going through a thing in my life where writing isn’t what I do in my spare time anymore – it’s my job.

Trying to find the balance between your work and your hobbies is something that I never had thought I’d have to consider. Yet now I’m dealing with the struggles being a professional writer brings.

Not only am I struggling with finding the balance between professional and personal work, I also realised that there’s something else – something pretty major – holding me back from posting on this blog.

I don’t have anything to say.

The whole reason I started this blog in this first place was so I could have an outlet for all of the things I wanted to say. Now, after a few years in the game, I’ve come to a stop.

I spent so much of my time listening to other people. I spent hours on YouTube, listening to podcasts and reading social media posts that I get bogged down with what the world has to say. In this sea of voices, there’s no wonder that I feel like I’ve lost my own.

I’ve realised that the biggest trigger for this writer’s block when it comes to my blog is the fact that I think I have nothing worthy to say. I don’t have anything to add to the conversation that is constantly going on worldwide.

I’m an average girl, living a pretty basic but happy life. I’ve found in the past that I want to write when I have a lot of emotions and (thankfully!) it seems like my life has become more stable and I’m content.

Being content means I don’t have any burning desire to get my emotions out and express my views.

I’m not quite sure where I’m going with this post, I just know I wanted to write it. I think it can be hard to find your own voice and keep yourself talking when we’re constantly being bombarded with other people’s opinions, education and knowledge.

But I don’t think that means that what I have to say, or what you have to say, is any less worthy.

Social media is great because it gives everyone a platform – but this is also part of the problem. There is a lot of rude and damaging content available on social media, but that’s not what I’m doing here.

Taking a break from social media and writing this blog can only do my brain good. I’m going to try lift the pressure I put on myself to write something ‘worthy’ and instead just write.

This is essentially me warning anyone who might be reading this that if things get weird or boring around here, don’t mind it. It’s just me.

I think we all should use our voices whenever we can. The more open we become and the more we talk about our lives, the more we can learn about each other. And when we learn more about other people, the more we get to know ourselves and hopefully this compassion can make the world a better place.

 

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Quotes For Thoughts | Remember When You Wanted What You Currently Have

Long time no blogging, friends! I hope you have had a gentle, safe start to 2019 and are quietly working on what you want to achieve.

I’ve been a bit quiet on the blogging front simply because I have been busy working, and this has made me reconsider my commitments. I’m hoping that content will continue from here on out, but there’s no need to put any pressure on it right now.

As I have been settling into this new year and working as much as possible, I’ve been thinking a lot about my progress over the past few years. It’s not news to anyone who has been here before that I’ve had a weird couple of years and it all seemed to come to a head in 2018.

Don’t worry, this isn’t an invitation to yet another pity party – I know I’m not the only one who is having these reflections and my time certainly hasn’t been that bad in comparison to others.

But it is an invitation to a gratitude party, if I can make that a thing.

RETURNING TO THE NOW

If you’re like me and you’re into wellness content, then you’ll be sick to the back teeth of ‘gratitude’. It is a word that gets thrown around a lot in these circles, making it’s true meaning unreachable.

I’m not going to suggest that you start noting down all the things you’re grateful for or even recommend that you should start saying ‘thank you’ more, although if you think it’ll make you happier then go for it!

I instead want to talk about using gratitude, that is feeling grateful, to help us return to the present moment.

gratitude 

noun
  1. the quality of being thankful; readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness.

As an avid overthinker, I find myself getting caught up in the past – the mistakes I made, the things I’d change or obsessing over the good times – or anxious about the future so often. The present doesn’t seem to exist for me.

This isn’t a great mind space to live in and has left me feeling burnt-out, anxious and sad.

It was only when I actually thought about what I have in my life – my current job, my friendships, my relationships and my new puppy – that I realised how happy I should be. How happy I actually am.

REMEMBER WHEN YOU WANTED WHAT YOU CURRENTLY HAVE

As a teenager, I dreamed for the things I have in my life now.

I was desperate to get a degree, to get a writing job.

I wanted a loving partner who was kind and supportive.

I wanted friends who cared about me, with whom I could do fun things with.

I was desperate for a puppy, for a little furry friend who would force me to exercise.

The current twenty-something year-old me has all of these things – and more. Yet I find myself constantly lusting after the next big thing and feeling like a failure because I don’t have it yet.

I haven’t actually taken the time to think about what I do have, what I’ve achieved and where I am now. And when I look at the person I am today, and how much I wanted to be her when I was a pre-teen, I feel pretty amazing.

I feel grateful.


I’d recommend you to take a moment and actually look at everything you have in your life right now.

Would 13 year-old you be happy? What did they want out of life?

What are you grateful for?

Speak soon,

Rachael

3 Challenges I’m Setting Myself In 2019 | BECOMING BETTER

Christmas hasn’t even arrived, yet feels as though everyone is already preparing for the new year.

If you’re like me – nerdy, an organisation fanatic and (alright I’ll admit it) a bit of a perfectionist – then this time of year can be so much fun. There’s nothing better than a fresh start and the new year is the ultimate fresh start; the cleanest of slates.

I love reflecting and trying new things, so as you can imagine my brain is going mad right now. I’m constantly thinking about all of the events of 2018 – trying to decipher what when well for me this year and what certainly needs to change in 2019.

Like last year, I don’t want to put too much pressure on myself and try to make the new year perfect because that never works for me. But I have come up with some challenges that I want to work on and complete throughout 2019.

I thought I’d share them with you today to potentially inspire you for the new year.

1. READ 5 CLASSICS

If you’ve been here before, then you know I am a massive reader. I managed to get my mojo back in the latter months of 2018 and reading is once again my favourite pastime.

In order to diversify my reading and to finally get through the huge pile of unread books I have on myself, I want to challenge myself to reading 5 classics throughout 2019.

2. STICK TO MY PRE-ASSIGNED BUDGET

Money is the main thing I want to focus on in 2019. After being unemployed for a short period this year, money has been something I have been constantly thinking about.

Being without money in 2018 made me realise how many bad spending habits I have. For 2019 I am going to organise myself a budget, set up some automated direct debits and get saving. I am entering 2019 as a freelancer so working on my income, saving and spending really needs to be a priority.

3. TRY A MEAT-FREE PERIOD

Throughout 2018 I have been trying to become better. I have made a commitment to myself to only buy and use cruelty-free makeup (check out my posts about that here) and I really want to take some steps towards making my wardrobe more ethical too.

The next step now then surely is my diet. Now I am not in a position to become a full-time vegetarian, but I would like to challenge myself to maybe having meat-free Mondays or a full month of no-meat.

Not only is this good for the environment (and therefore my guilt!) but will also force me to eat more veggies and mix up my meals.


What do you want to try in 2019?

If you have any other challenges I could try, or any tips on how to make what I’ve set for myself easier (especially with the budgeting!) then please let me know.

All the best friends!

Speak soon,

Rachael

Is Instagram A Creative Outlet?

I’ve mentioned it before, but I love Instagram.

I’ve been posting so much on it lately and, although I do think I need to take a break from it every now and again, I really enjoy it! In fact I use it so much, I kind of consider it a hobby for me now.

I’ve always loved taking photographs and capturing memories, but now thanks to this app I now have a platform for my work. Yes, I’m calling the pictures I take on a daily bases ‘work’ as they’re something I’ve made.

I’ll admit, photography and Instagram doesn’t really seem creative in the typical sense – picture oil paints, blank canvases or open notebooks – but when you actually think about it, it really is.

Wherever I go, whatever I’m up to I want to document it. Now we all have access to cameras thanks to our smart phones, taking pictures is the easiest and most effective way to document a place, person or event. Instagram is merely the platform I share it on. Like a very basic gallery for my best bits.

I will take photos of anything and everything! Even the smallest thing will be photographed and shared as it makes me happy. Scroll through my feed and you’ll see so many photos of hot drinks, books and pretty trees. Although it’s basic and small, these are the things that make me happy in the moment, so why shouldn’t I document it and share?

No matter what kind of day I’ve had, if I’ve managed to capture a small happy moment, then you can expect to see it on Instagram.

I know that posting too often is problematic and sometimes I have had to force a break from Instagram on myself, as I find that I become too preoccupied with what angle I need to capture, what filters I’ll use and how best to caption the scene instead of just being in the moment and enjoying it. This is certainly some I need to work on, but for the most part I don’t think Instagram is a bad thing or something to be ashamed of having as a hobby.

I don’t think my posting on Instagram will stop anytime soon! Call me a typical millennial who’s obsessed with her phone, but I love documenting and sharing my days. Truly everything I post online, from Instagram to this blog, is for myself primarily and because it makes me happy, I don’t want to stop.

Of course getting feedback and likes is great and something I enjoy, but I’m trying to not focus on that bit and instead just enjoy the creative process.

After going through some tough times with my mental health in the past few years, looking for the good in everyday – no matter how small! – is so important. As basic as it may sound, Instagram is helping me to look for these good moments and for that reason I don’t want to stop using it.

What social media do you love the most?

Speak soon,

Rachael.

Small Sustainable Changes I’m Trying To Make | BECOMING BETTER

The subject of going green and protecting our planet is one that only seems to become more and more relevant as time goes on. I, for one, have a lot of guilt about the impact I have on the environment and I’ve been trying to make some changes to not only help me feel better, but that can also make a bigger difference.

I’ve already talked a little bit about this in my cruelty-free makeup series, where I explore the impact my makeup bag has on the world, but I am not a vegetarian or a vegan and I just cannot imagine making such a big change at the moment. So I’ve taken it upon myself to try to be better in other areas.

A little disclaimer, because I know this subject can be a bit touchy and elitist, I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing! I’m still working on researching and figuring it all out, and I’m just doing my best to do my bit. If you have any suggestions on how to be better, I’d love to hear them!

STAINLESS STEEL STRAWS

In the UK more and more companies are making straws something you have to ask for, or are offering paper ones instead. This is a brilliant change and something that many have welcomed! I know straws aren’t essential and we certainly can do without them, but over the summer I found myself wanting one for my juices or gin cocktails. These stainless steels straws from Lakeland were pretty cheap and accessible and have helped me feel fancy as with my drinks without the guilt!

REUSABLE CARRIER BAG

I’ve had one of those foldaway shopper bags for so long, as my mam bought it for me when the charge for plastic bags came to effect. To be honest I’m really bad with using it. I normally forget I have it or can’t be bothered with the hassle of getting it out myself – which is so ridiculous! But I am really making a serious effort to consciously use this bag and I am starting to carry around multiple tote bags and even plastic bags to reuse just in case I need them.

Here are some bags that are similar to have I have.

WATER BOTTLE AND TAKEAWAY COFFEE CUP

To be totally honest, a big factor in me buying a reusable bottle and cup was the money it may save me. As you may know if you’ve been here before, I have recently stopped earning for a period of time. Although takeaway liquids certainly aren’t a huge part of my expenses, every little helps right?

Some coffee shops will give you a discount if you bring your own cup and many businesses will fill up your water bottles for you from the tap. The bottle is also a great way for me to encourage myself to drink more water too, instead of reaching for a cheap bottle of pop!

CHARITY SHOPPING

I absolutely love going into charity or thrift shops and spending the full day having a rummage. It’s something my family have done for years – buying books, clothes and toys second – hand. However, once I started earning my own money I became very wrapped up in fast fashion and high street bargains, spending so much money on clothing that won’t even last a couple of months.

Don’t get me wrong, this is a habit that I think will take a while to undo but now I’m making a deliberate effort to stop as often as I can. Instead, if I want or need new clothes I’m trying to stick to second – hand bits or simply using the stuff I already have to create new looks. Not only is it good for the environment, but it’ll save me a lot of money in the long run!

USING AND REUSING

Finally I’m simply just making an effort to actually use the things I have, before deciding to buy anything else. It’s such a common thing nowadays to buy so much stuff and not ever being able to finish a product or get the proper wear out of a piece of clothing. Now as I am running very low on funds, I am being forced to consider every single purchase I make and it’s made me realise how much money, and space and energy, I waste on shite.

Shopping has become somewhat of a hobby for me – I’m a city girl after all! – and it’s just not good for my bank account or the world to keep buying and wasting things. Now I can’t just freely pop to the shops to spend money when I feel like it, I’m being forced to have a look through my cupboards and cabinets to see what I already have to use.


Those are some of the sustainable changes I have been making to my habits and lifestyle recently to make a difference.

Do you have any recommendations of how I can get better?

Speak soon,

Rachael.

How Quitting My Job Saved My Mental Health #1| The Back Story

I’ve been trying to write this post for weeks now. It was something I thought about even before I handed my notice in, but the words have just failed me.

As I explained in one of my latest posts (read here) I recently quit my part – time, customer service job due to mental health issues. This has been the first time in my whole twenty-two years of life where my mental health has effected me so much.

I mentioned in that post that I have never previous struggled with mental health – which of course was a lie. Everyone deals with their mental health constantly, but I had never really paid major attention to it. I was trying to deal with some issues like stress and nerves while at university, but – in the same manner as I’d dealt with everything else for as long as I can remember – I managed to just push it all aside to focus on what I needed to get through at the time.

This was probably the worst thing I could have done to myself.

When I finally left university I found myself feeling very underwhelmed with what my life became. I talked about it a little on this blog (here) and with my family occasionally but, once again, didn’t really think what was happening in my brain was anything I should worry about too much.

I thought it was just a form of relief; issues like stress, crying for no reason and being irritable were just the by-products of getting through my degree, and now I could finally relax they were coming out.

“Pushing it all aside … was probably the worst thing I could have done”

Two months after my graduation I finally got to leave the fast-food job I’d held throughout my A-Levels and degree. And although I wasn’t leaving to start a new career or move up in any kind of way, I felt like this was a small step towards progress.

Things started well. This new role offered me enough time to work on my personal writing and projects, as well as allowing me to earn more money than I had before.

But then as time progressed, so did the issues within my mental health. I found myself being low all of the time and unable to enjoy things the way I used to. As you may know, I’ve always been a massive reader but I couldn’t get lost in stories the way I used to anymore. I was far to preoccupied with feeling low, unsettled and anxious.

I’ve also talked about being an introvert on this blog, so it goes without saying that I haven’t always been a social person. But then, for standards that were low even for me, I found myself avoiding talking to or seeing friends; feeling scared whenever the option to go out came up. I just wanted to be left alone more than ever and to be totally honest with you, it was scary.

I just want to take a moment now to say that I am so unbelievably lucky to have such a wonderful groups of friends and family. Even, in the end, the majority of my work colleagues were super supportive too. Mental health issues like low mood, depression and anxiety can make you feel so alone. It makes you believe that no one cares about you, but let me tell you know that it is so wrong. And I’m a little bit embarrassed that it’s took something so low to happen for me to realise how lucky I am to have such amazing, kind and supportive people around me but I guess that’s how it works. 

Anyway, I’m sure you get the picture. I was spiralling into what my doctor now describes as a “really bad case of low mood/depression” and I just couldn’t see a way out. My family, who are literally the most supportive people ever, were becoming increasingly worried about me and urged me to see a doctor.

“I was spiralling”

For some reason, I felt ashamed going to see my GP. I didn’t want to have to seek help from anyone – I thought I could do it all on my own. Now I see how ridiculous this mentality was and, if I’d gotten help sooner I might now have been as low as I was. I definitely want to write more about shame and mental health, but for now just let me assure you that you have nothing to be ashamed about and please get the help you need.

It was a long journey, to be totally honest and there were times where I thought it was all pointless. But my family kept persisting and eventually I went on the sick and then made the decision to leave my job.

I just knew I wouldn’t get any better there.

Once again, I want to make a little disclaimer that I know I am so privileged and lucky to be able to walk away from a job that was my only source of income for a while. Like I said I have a very supportive family and I am so grateful for this time to be able to heal. 


This post is turning out to be a lot longer than I anticipated, so I’m going to turn it into a series. Please come back next Monday at 4pm to see what actually happened when I left my job and how I’m taking care of myself now.

If you are struggling with your mental health right now, let me tell you that you are not alone and there are so many people who want to help. If you want to chat to me feel free to drop me a message, tweet me or dm me on Instagram.

For professional help:

Mind Mental Healthy Charity

NHS Local Services

Call Samaritans:

116 123 (UK)

116 123 (ROI)


Best wishes. Stay kind.

Speak soon,

Rachael.

Who’s To Say You’re Boring? | A Talk About Habits, Self – Esteem and the Wonders of Social Media

I have always considered myself to be boring. For the majority of my life, I have been a (fairly) quiet, studious person who likes my own company. I enjoy reading, as you know, and staying indoors – like any stereotypical introvert would be proud to share.

As I explained in a recent post, where I come from that’s not really the stereotypical habits for someone my age. In a city like mine it’s expected that there’ll be lots of social events, drinking and generally just being pretty adventurous.

There’s been so many times that I’ve wished I was that person and on many occasions I’ve tried so hard to be her. I went through a period in my late teens of experimenting with who I was, what I liked and the friends I held close. And although I’m grateful for this time, because it’s taught me some valuable lessons, when I look back now I just see me desperately trying to be something I’m not.

Now there’s totally no shame if being a party person is your thing – you do you and all that – but today I wanted to talk about the other side of us all, the side that you’ve never really seen publicly until now.

The side that you too have maybe been trying to push aside.

BORING HABITS

boring

adjective

‘not interesting; tedious’

As I said, when I was growing up I thought I was the most boring person in the entire world. I had a close-knit but not large group of friends and, unlike seemingly everyone else, we didn’t go out together all the time. I’ve always spent a lot of time with my family, at home and I thought that was so tragic.

Flash forward to university where I started meeting new people and we swapped stories about growing up. ‘Never Have I Ever’ was a game I dreaded because I never had anything to say – I hadn’t done anything that would appear scandalous or make a good story. 

I started to resent myself and my past decisions because I wasn’t like everyone else. I thought I was boring.

LIFE IS JUST A CLASSROOM

A major issue for me is the fact I still think I’m in secondary school sometimes. I expect people to treat me the same way I was treated back then.

At school I was a geek, a nerd, a teachers’ pet – call it what you want I was one of those kids. And I always have been; it’s just my nature. If you’ve ever seen any teenage movie then you know these kids are the boring ones. The only time they become interesting is if they have a makeover and get noticed by the popular kids.

But being a geek isn’t a bad thing. In fact, as I get older I’m starting to see it as a good thing! I’m starting to see that it’s not as rare as I thought and everyone is a little bit geeky in adulthood. It’s what makes us interesting.

Being excited about something that means a lot to you should never be a shameful experience. If you love science-fiction, for example, then you should love it wholeheartedly. Let yourself be excited about that new book, movie, convention or whatever it is. There is nothing wrong with that! Let’s face it, in this current climate we need a bit of excitement and joy.

THE WONDERS OF SOCIAL MEDIA / THE CLEANING REVOLUTION

There’s a particular influencer going around at the moment who is getting everyone excited about cleaning. You know exactly who I’m talking about, and if you don’t have a cheeky Google – I’ll bet you’ll get sucked in too.

But yeah, cleaning is now a popular topic and people are genuinely getting excited by detergents, powders and scrubbers the same way, a few months ago, they’d be getting excited about a new makeup palette or a celebrity baby. And it makes my heart so happy!

Who knew, eh?

Cleaning seems like such a basic, boring thing. It’s such an old stereotype and yet here we are in 2018 getting excited about it. The same can go for books too. Have you ever seen  booktube? There’s a whole online community dedicated to reading, finding new stories, authors and generally just being excited about words – and it’s amazing!

All these quiet hobbies are taking up space online and connecting people. After years of only ever seeing the highlights of others lives, like when they’re going out for cocktails in their best dress or when they’re at some amazing event, we’re now getting to see the small everyday tasks that we all participate in.

I think that’s the absolute best thing that could ever come from social media – the communities. Literally no matter what makes you happy, there’s an online place for you! Whatever quirky, geeky, funny little hobby you adore there’s thousands of people online loving the same thing and encouraging you to join in.

So please don’t push away that part of yourself. It’s these little things that make us who we are and now we’re finally getting to a time where everyone can be involved.

From one nerd to another, keep doing you.

Speak soon,

Rachael.

My Social Media Is A Lie and I’m Proud of It

This title is a little dramatic, but this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while now. It’s recently come to a head with my sudden burst of love and motivation for Instagram (follow me here).

Everything I post on social media is a lie – of sorts.

Scrolling through my feed, these bright and heavily contrasted images of my days seem to portray a ‘perfect’ life. Alright, maybe not perfect but at least a constant happy and fulfilled one.

And that’s just not the case.

I like to think that I am a pretty transparent person; I’m very honest and try to be as open as possible with those around me. Yet I’ve still managed to curate these images to make it seem like I’ve got my life together and I’m having a great time.

Which is of course true at the time of capture, but I want to take this time now to say that it definitely is not me all of the time. Sometimes it’s not even most of the time. Some of those images may only capture the two seconds of the day where I was happy, or even if I was unhappy I still managed to get a nice picture of the sky or the coffee I was drinking. It doesn’t show the full picture.

Stop comparing your behind-the-scenes with everyone’s highlight reel

Image 1.jpg

Even though I don’t have many followers and I’m certainly not in a position to influence people, I still know that what I put out there could effect someone – even if that someone is myself.

Sometimes on bad days, I’ll scroll through my own feed and wonder why I’m not happy like I was four months ago, or why I haven’t gone out since last September. It’s pretty self-absorbed I know but hey, that’s just what my brain does sometimes.

I just wanted to put a little note out there to say that my social media does in no way reflect the way I am everyday. I don’t overly edit my own pictures or try to make myself something I’m not, but I do only show the very best bits and that can give off the impression that my life is somewhat ‘perfect’.

It’s aspirational. The person I am on my Instagram feed is who I’d like to be most of the time. The girl who’s happy with her face, her outfit; who’s seeing her friends often and being down the beach on a regular basis. But I also know that it’s just not possible to be that upbeat all the time, and it’s those low or boring moments that make everything else so special and worth sharing!

I love Instagram. I love taking photos and documenting my life through them; I like to cement my memories by cropping, altering and applying an C1 filter to them. And I don’t think that’s the worst hobby to have.

I just think a little bit of honesty is important now and again to remind myself and anyone else who might be reading that we’re doing fine, even if our lives don’t match up to what’s on our social media feeds.

Come see what I’m up to on a good day over on my Instagram here.

Speak soon,

Rachael.

An Open Apology To Taylor Swift (and all the other women I’ve shamed) | BECOMING BETTER

As I’m getting older I am starting to learn more about the kind of person I want to be and I’m learning how to get rid of negative attitudes I simply just don’t need anymore.

For such a long time now being a feminist has been a huge part of my identity. But despite everything I preach, I still have my issues.

The following is a realisation of those issues and the major epiphany I had, right there in the middle of Wembly Stadium as Taylor Swift freaking smashed her set on the Reputation Tour, about what it takes to really practice what you preach.

NOT A SWIFTIE

So the use of Taylor Swift may be a little bit clickbaity for this post (a girl’s gotta try get those likes some how right?) but she did inspire this whole realisation and self-growth situation regarding other women, shame and jealousy.

For a bit of background, I was one of those people who didn’t really like Swift for no particular reason. I listened to her music but would criticise her whenever she appeared in the headlines. For every breakup, makeup and latest scandal I was with the rest of the world rolling my eyes and wondering how such a ‘nice girl’ could cause so much drama, unless it was all fake.

Although Swift is such an extreme example of a shamed woman, her experiences are unfortunately shared with so many others – famous or not. Every movement, every mistake or success, is out there for us to judge.

But then, on 22nd June when I sang and screamed along with thousands of her loyal fans I got to see the other side. The side that is rarely ever publicised. Her side.

And I realised how messed up my attitude to, not only Swift had been, but towards women overall – despite my bold claims for female empowerment. In reality, I had been a part of what was pushing us all back down.

THE EPIPHANY

I know it seems kind of like I’m just using this whole post to boast about the fact that I got to see Taylor Swift in her Reputation tour (and maybe I am just a little bit) but there was something about being in that place, so full of happiness and pure love that made me realise what an arse I’d been. And trust me, when you’re surrounded by thousands of dedicated fans, that feeling goes pretty deep!

But the gig gave me a chance to see Swift simply. As just a lass who was doing her job, and doing it pretty bloody well too. And it got me thinking about how many other women I’ve shamed, ridiculed or disliked based on an idea that I’d either been given or made up myself.

I know that everyone feels as though they’re being judged, and we all get that anxiety when we feel like we don’t fit in, regardless of gender, but I feel like women (especially those in the public eye) just get a little bit more shit than normal.

“how many other women have I shamed, ridiculed or disliked based on an idea that I’d either been given or made up myself?”

Literally every. single. thing. women do is mocked or questioned in some way. From our own personal choices (don’t you think it’s selfish not to have children? how come he hasn’t put a ring on it yet?) to natural, bodily functions (periods*, body hair, size and shape) women are under scrutiny from the rest of the world.

We really don’t need to be getting shit from our sisters too.

THE FEMINIST BIT

So what is it about Taylor Swift that gets people so mad?

Well, there’s loads of excuses: the fact that she’s had a lot of partners; the fact that she’s quiet; the fact she is too nice. But the main one, when you really boil it down, is the fact that she is successful.

And like with most issues I’ve personally had with other women, it all comes down to jealousy.

We’re all so used to being pitted against each other for everything, from our relationships to our careers, it’s no wonder we fall victim to it. From day one, women are told that there isn’t enough room for them. From the fact that there are less women in higher role jobs, to the fact that women are normally seen as accessories,  we are constantly being told that we aren’t good enough.

But this whole thing with Taylor Swift and the epiphany I had while singing my heart out at that stadium was so simple I can’t believe it’s taken me this long to get.

We need to make room for ourselves.

And we need to make sure that we are not shutting other women down or pushing them away just because we’re not keen on them or don’t have the same outlook as them.

The only way we’re all going to succeed is if we’re in it together.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO DO?

Next time you see a shitty article bashing women (it’ll probably be about Taylor Swift, to be fair) check yourself.

  • How does this make you feel?
  • If this was one of your friends would you shame her?
  • Would those actions be wrong if a man was doing them?
  • What does the world get out of shaming her like that?

Call out the bullshit you see, be supportive of your sisters, educate those who don’t understand.

So finally, after all that rambling:

I’m so sorry Taylor Swift, and every other woman I’ve shamed, through jealousy or a misunderstanding or simply just to fit in. I will learn from my mistakes, check myself and continue to be a support for all women. I have learnt that there is enough room for all of us, and it is down to us now to create a safe and open space for us all. 

I will be better. 


*I know that not all women have periods, just like not all period-having-people are women. But just for the sake of my argument here and just to generalise in the easiest way I can, this is what I’m going with. Please do not be offended. I see you xoxo


Speak soon,

Rachael.

 

 

Life After University | A YEAR On From Graduation, Here’s Where I’m At RN

I can’t believe I’m about to write this, but it has been a year since I graduated university.

One year since I was finally free from a degree that I had worked my arse off for three years. If you’re currently in the midst of your studies, I’m sure that you’ve dreamed about the situation I’m currently in. I know for a fact that it’s all I thought about while I went through sixth form and university – the bit where you actually start your real life.

Like most things, it hasn’t been an easy ride and I’m far from feeling settled. But I feel like for all it’s failures, my little journey may be of help (or at least of interest) to someone out there. I feel like your life after university, or any kind of structured routine, isn’t something that is talked about in depth. We have expectations and ideas, for sure, but we don’t get given a solid idea of what will happen once we’re free. It’s just like a hazy dreamland.

So allow me, one normal lass to another, to enlighten you.

CAREER

I know for a fact the first thing on your mind is what work am I doing now. Well, if you’re looking for a super exciting, #girlboss style story then I’m afraid you’ll have to look elsewhere (or give me a good few years to work on it. Who knows?)

I was successful in leaving my part-time fast food job that I’d held down throughout my entire studies – which to be honest was a goal for post-uni Rachael. However, I left that job to continue working in customer service/retail, but this time with better hours and slightly better pay.

Other than that there are no signs of a ‘better’ career around the corner. To be honest with you I have no idea what I want to do anyway. After getting rejected from the handful of jobs I did apply for, I kind of lost motivation for the whole thing. Even now I feel kind of anxious even thinking about the minefield that is Indeed.com.

My current job, although it definitely has it’s many downsides, has been a positive for me overall. It’s allowed me to meet and connect with people I would never have found outside of our building and has increased my confidence so much it’s kind of insane.

And with that, I can swiftly move on the the next area of post -uni life I want to talk about.

PERSONAL DEVELOPMENT (IE. HOW I’M DOING)

When reflecting on my life for the past year, I was so suprised by how much I’ve changed. I found, when thinking about what I was going to write for this post, that I feel like a different person to the girl in her graduation cap and gown.

Sure, we’re both still anxious and insecure and absolutely terrified about what’s coming up in the future. But I feel more confident than her. I feel more mature than her, like I’m more able to handle situations better (even if it’s not true).

I spent my graduation day a sweaty, nervous wreck and couldn’t really enjoy any of it. I just wanted to get it over and done with – and that’s something I look back on now with a bit of regret. I should have been more excited, more proud and more up for a party 🙂


If you’re graduating this summer, or the next one or the next one, do me a favour and enjoy it.

Enjoy those moments with your friends, your classmates and your family. It’s a day for you and your hard work and you should be so proud of yourself.

University can be such a wild ride and I’m guessing that life after it is just going to be the same. I’m a bit disappointed and frequently anxious about the fact I haven’t really done anything within this year, but I guess good things come to those who wait and are ready for it.

I’ve got a lot of working on myself to do and a lot of more life to experience so I guess I shouldn’t get too hung up on finding my perfect career just yet. I’m making this post as a reminder for myself to be patient, to cut myself some slack, every now and again, and if this happens to resonate with you then I hope you take heed too.

Congratulations and best of luck reader.

Speak soon,

Rachael.